29.11.04
The Boulevard of Broken Dreams...and much more
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone. I walk alone. I walk alone. I walk alone
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then i walk alone
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the borderline of the edge
And where I walk alone
Read between the line of what's
Fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And i walk alone
I walk alone. I walk alone. I walk alone. I walk alone.
I walk this empty street on the boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Above,is the lyrics of the song Boulevard of Broken Dreams,by Green Day, taken from their newest album, American Idiot...
It's 2.30 am..i should be sleeping..but i don't want to..cos sleeping is an escape into a realm where nothing exists,where ur mind reigns,and all u see is wat u want to see.i view that as a cowardly move,hiding where only u know,not showing wat u r...but being awake at this time,nobody to talk to,nothing to do,i heard this song playing on LaunchCast...and i started thinking..ya know..this songs could very well be like me,or actually..a rather big pertentage of the 6 bil individuals that habitate this floating mass of rock,magma,water and other chemical compounds we call earth...but anyways,it sparked a thought in me...would i be different,if i had a girlfriend?
how would i be in public,how would i treat my frens/classmates..how would i be as a person on the whole..these questions and much more popped up..prompting me to question just how much about life do we actually know...and how much is actually more myth than fact. it also made me question my views about love..so far to me,love was just another word,a feeling spread unanimously among a perfect family(altho i know approximately 80% of families have a fault somewhere,everybody has skeletons in their closet),a feeling that is shared among 2 individuals,that perpetuates all their actions when together,sparking a want to do more for the other person to show that u care...what sickens me is how many people actually mistake lust and crushes for love...u say u love the person..but how do u justify that?
people in love..u can tell..when they speak of their significant other,they smile,they get rosy..they speak in a different way,they have a warmth in their voice...they're just different.
while many teens get involved with one another claiming love to be something that they share,i cannot help but think how long they would last till they find out the chemistry just equated a crush..or even worse still, lust...while i'm not saying it's impossible for teens to find true love,i'm just saying that it's highly inprobable given the fact that they only know so much of the world,sheltered by their parents..they know nothing of the world,how cold and cruel it really is..if u have found it,i congratulate u..if u have not..don't go rushing into something u want..u may find that the grass is not actually greener on the other side..
i have always taken the fact that i'm single as a good thing..my money is for my own,my thoughts,judgment and actions are for myself..and sometimes for my frens,my time is spent for myself and family mainly..but then i sometimes think if it really is nice to have a significant other,a person that i can relate to,talk,share,and confess things i have never said to any other living soul...i've actually never taken any advice on how to manage myself before..preferring to live as i go,and while i'm thinking of all the above..it sometimes occurs to me that i could be very different,as night and day..if i were attached,but as the poem The Road Not Taken implies, i chose a direction,i am walking on it,how the other one leads on,i will never know...someday i'll look back and remember this post..trying to recollect my feelings and thoughts,the angst directed at myself and the futility of mankind in our pursuit of pleasure and perfection..and maybe then..i'll know..
i'm sorry if this has bored u...it's very different from wat i normally post...but i just decided to share this thought of mine...good nite now posted by the child on 2:32 AM
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27.11.04
Good shitz and Bad shitz
sigh...good shit first..
ok..my trip to malacca went well..very well if i may add..got to eat all my fave food...only thing i missed was bak kut teh..but oh well...i got satay,satay celup etc etc...it was so nice..but i think imma fall sick real soon lol...
other than that..managed to get a nice set of headphones while back home(RM 35..which is about 15-16 S$)..so skype is fully functional to me now..humm..wat else..
caught up with some frens,played some games together...i guess that's all the good stuff i gotta say...
and now the bad shit...
I seriously screwed up on my exams..only managed 1A when i was aiming for 3..got 4B's,1C and 1C+...sigh...i hate myself for that..i guess i gotta do better for my next exam to prove that i can do wat i say i can...bleh...stupid parents/family...
3ug3n3,out~ posted by the child on 1:11 AM
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19.11.04
Ho hum...back in home town again!
well well..who would know eh?
i'm back in mlk (malacca) rite now...got here yesterday on the 2 o'clock bus...reaching at about 10-15 to 7...the ride was ok i guess...stupid kid sitting behind me couldn't sit still and kept on fidgeting and knocking my chair thru out the whole trip but otherwise an uneventful trip...
well first day back and i dissappear lol..i'm currently in my fren's house..using his com to type out this blog entry...just cos he has broadband (ADSL) and i'd rather use slow broadband than dial up [>.<] ...and yea..haha..i'll be here till the 26th when i'm leaving back for singapore again...till then,be posting again..maybe..hehe posted by the child on 9:05 PM
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13.11.04
Teresa[the one on the left] and Jenni looking cute in this pic..or trying to..haha... posted by the child on 11:47 PM
Us in a more controlled mood..lol posted by the child on 11:46 PM
The B'Day Girl with her cake posted by the child on 11:34 PM
What happens when the cameraman said "ok,do wateva u wanna do" posted by the child on 11:33 PM
Me trying to cook some stuff posted by the child on 11:32 PM
OoOo...Surprise BBQ was a Success!!!
ok..haha...i have only got 3 hours sleep since i woke up at 11 am on Friday..meaning one and a half days ago lol..ok..so bear with me if my sentences go awry and out of hand...
well...the BBQ was a success...after some detailed planning,a budget(which was exceeded a few times lol) and a lot of cooperation...that is..haha..and to think..i nearly blew the secret out..thankfully teresa[the bday girl] was blisfully unaware of me yakking on the phone every few minutes because she was concentrating on not fallin from the bike..
how it went : i first started by telling teresa that it was just a get together for fun..to go cycling followed by dinner later on..we started late..but managed to cycle none the less...eugene huang and andy were with us..but they were blading...and as we headed into east coast park,we were joined by jennifer and her bf[whose name i have forgotten yet again,sorry jenni!] and we cycled around while everybody got their stuff to the pit...
and while we were thinking that we would be late...turned out it was lucky we came late otherwise we would have to wait longer as shuqin had to come later due to some complications at work...well anyway...the bbq soon got on and we started cooking..at first i wasn't eating much cos i was going around chatting and trying to help them..but wasn't much of a help so i let them be..taking a bite whenever i could remember that i haven't eaten much...
but...someway somehow...we had enough food for at least 18 or so people..when only about 13 or 14 people were there..wasteful..truthfully..but the few of us who didn't go home stayed and continued eating till midnight..haha..and we stayed at the park till 6..kinda crazy huh?
but anyway...wat we did in between..didn't really matter cos we only had some games..while i as usual walked around chatting...everybody was literally scattered around..but i guess i'm not one to complain when the entire park (or 100 meters surrounding area around us) was empty...staying up the whole nite..we did quite a lot of talking..and some stupid stuff...haha..which i shall not mention here for fear of revealing some pyro-maniacal tendencies of my classmates =P
well anyway..i think i've spoken too much and have bored u...did i?
but below are a few pics...pls do post ur views on the pics..and the bbq on the whole.. posted by the child on 11:24 PM
1 thought out loud
11.11.04
ooo...helpful frenz...everybody needs a few of 'em...
Hehe..wat else can i say? the title kinda explains it, don't ya think ?
well anyways...many thanks to Yi Xian for helping me host the song that's playing[it's Simple Plan's song,Welcome To My Life,in case you didn't know] and for putting in the HTML code to make it play..and even fixing that stupid tag-board problem...
and now...to figure out how to link around...hehehe... posted by the child on 5:26 PM
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6.11.04
|<>| Stuff that caught my eye |<>|
well recently...i found this prog...called Skype..let's me do free calls to other people who got the program too..no matter where they are..it's kinda cool really..i mean..how else will i be able to call my pals from some country...like the US or UK...so yea i signed up for it..and downloaded it from www.skype.com...the only problem now is i gotta get me a microphone...or a headphone with mic built in...anybody know where i can get one??
i checked a lot of shops in Suntec City...couldn't find shit...ah wellz...that's life for ya...u can never find what u want when u want it..and when u dun want it....u see em everywhere like them posters of pop stars gone nuts thanks to hormone problems (think britney and stuff)
and yea..i started playing a new game..maple story..yea..download it at www.mapleglobal.com...the download is kinda big..and the server slow too...so good luck ya hehe...
if any of u wan me nick on Maple Story or Skype..leave me a msg and a way to contact ya..hehe...cyaz posted by the child on 10:35 PM
1 thought out loud
4.11.04
Ah...
oh yea...it's cool...exams...are..over!!!
woo hoooo....now the only thing on my mind is playing games...and enjoying life...gonna be planning a few stuff with class mates..hrm...dunno wat to do yet atm tho...hey dudes...got suggestions ? posted by the child on 1:34 PM
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