J'enfant

31.5.09

lose, losing...lost?

Ponder this:
you never actually lose anything in life, except for chances. well maybe
except for your sanity, that really can be lost rather easily
every other thing, it was a chance to do something that was not taken,
that led to it being lost.

looking back, i give up chances rather easily, dont i? its really hard to
give up a passive attitude

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posted by the child on 5:41 PM
0 thought out loud

28.5.09

random thing

Think of me not as i seem
but as i am

Know me not as i speak
but as i think

Love me not for what i do
but for why i do

im random :D
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posted by the child on 8:22 PM
0 thought out loud

26.5.09

Pursuit of happyness

and so, how does one define...happiness?
a state within where theres a lack of unhappiness one might say, where
there is not any negative feelings, ill will or otherwise towards anyone
or anything.

by that definition i believe many people are capable of achieving
happiness throughout the day, either by not having such feelings at all,
or by suppressing them through conscious control..or even being too
occupied to even have the time to entertain such notions within oneself.

yet again though people are unable to escape these feelings, sometimes as
they are overwhelmed and really quite cant be helped. but then i think,
its all in the mind and many will benefit from conscientiously minding
themself. i think im arguing both sides of the fence again lol

in any case, we are all capable of doing what we want. i believe it was
socrates, or maybe plato.. who thought that the knowledge exists before
humans. and that we only have to remember what it is, and to do so we must
constantly question ourselves. if anybody recognises, ive had my msn nick
as "γνῶθι σεαυτόν" for quite a while already. its greek for "Know
Thyself", an ancient greek aphorism attributed to heraclitus, socrates and
4 other philosophers(havent read about em, yet :P)

i find that the meaning is substantially deep, and yet not too hard for a
common person to understand and practise in their everyday life.
ultimately, everybody can be better..if they truly want to. but often we
need people to tell us where we've gone wrong, before we can see where we
need to go.

so i do truly appreciate if people tell me if theres certain facets of my
personality they cannot tolerate. tho usually i wont change if i find that
its not too critical and its a matter of their self preference, unless
that person truly has a deep impression and is very important to me.

in the end, i really dont care if people dont wanna be friends with me if
they cant accept my personality. but meh, i realise i rambled so far until
i dunno where im heading to anymore!


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posted by the child on 6:01 PM
4 thought out loud

21.5.09

Strike 3!

Just tell me if you want me out of your life, and i'll head for the door.

Heck, don't even know if you even read this blog anymore. I'm probably just overreacting as per usual..but is this how i'm supposed to be treated as a "best friend"?

You know you can just tell me what's bugging you. It's not like I haven't proven myself to be an understanding listener, right?

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posted by the child on 9:19 PM
0 thought out loud

20.5.09

gua orang malaysia!

jikalau anda baru ketahui bahawa orang yang anda amat mempercayai telah membuat pelan dan tidak memberi anda informasi yang terperinci, apa akan anda rasa?

gwa ni skarang udah amat gelisah. masa dulu, lu bakal memberitahu gwa semuanye, tetapi skarang gwa pikir gwa tak patut percaya lu sampai begitu...

i should learn mandarin/cantonese/teochew rather than indon, as they are my "mother tongues". but i seriously humiliate myself everytime i try, heh

but i really wonder, when will i stop lugging around these extra baggages? dont think i can really last that long anymore with so much extra weight at this speed.

posted by the child on 7:30 PM
0 thought out loud

18.5.09

irony

the irony is not lost on me now that i look at my situation from a 3rd person perspective and realise that i could very well adopt the advice ive given out over the years, and know that i cant do what i said.

posted by the child on 4:31 PM
0 thought out loud

17.5.09

why?

how can a person feel lonely when they are among friends?
how can a person at one moment want to be surrounded by ones he calls friend and at the very next moment want to be locked up alone?
how does one go from wanting nothing to wanting one thing so badly without warning?

honestly, it sucks. at times it feels like swimming with jeans and clothes on..totally dragged down.
i dont understand myself at all...so i dont blame anybody for finding me incorrigible

i have a total fuck-it attitude. i dont give a fuck what people think about me or whether they like me. yet sometimes i wonder if i should be a little nicer. then again i cant really be bothered to be any different than i am. tho i do change easily when i want to. why am i so stubborn tho? and defiant.

and entirely random.

wtf is wrong with me?

posted by the child on 12:32 AM
0 thought out loud

16.5.09

oh?

i do believe i may have realised that i have a psychological reason for not cutting my hair.
makes sense? no? good...doesnt to me either

posted by the child on 1:09 PM
0 thought out loud