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love, ethics, right and wrong, chaos and harmony. concepts of the human mind, created by us, suffered by us, enforced by... us? sometimes, i'm lead to thinking and questioning myself. why am i...upholding this belief of myself? why do i persistently hang on so tightly to my principles? i see people around the world who don't do what i do and they're pretty much fine. i am highly immature. forget about looking for that elusive thing called "exclusivity" and just go for fun. and wake up in the morning, knowing i never really had anything to begin with. forget about my morals and principles. karma says what goes around comes around, so i should just start delivering rather than receiving and waiting. and struggle with myself, knowing i am putting others in pain just to give myself pleasure. forget about doing what i should do, i should just do what i want. and wake up each day, knowing its another day i had just only granted myself yet another day of frivolous fun that serves me no other purpose. i feel...like i'm becoming too old in my head. yet i tell others age is just a number, no need to get worried about it. easy for me to say...i balance so many other things in my head that it leads me to think that the reason i forget things is because theres just so much i can fit in there. on a side note, how i wish if memory loss could be easily evoked. then, i wouldnt ... yet to some extent, i feel young. vivacious. thirsty and curious to see what life has to offer around the corner. eager to get to know, to learn. a system of duality in my own head? loneliness. was man made for company, or for solitude? do we...crave for company just because we like company? or because...we just don't like ourselves enough to spend time in one-ness? is one truly able to...find the person that is made for them? or is there even such a person? what about..compatibility? in this day and age...you can seem to choose how you want to be, in all aspects. what if the one for you, finds that you are not the one for them? such a possibility exists, no? welcome to the table, ladies and gentleman. your banker and dealer for the moment, Fate. you shall be dealt a hand, you shall play the hand, and you shall win the prize, or pay the price. if at anytime you should want out of the game, you may cash out your chips at the end of the Life. have a pleasant day.
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