J'enfant

17.8.10

run. run

every time i do, invariably, i hurt the person and myself. getting close
to me is like an accident waiting to happen.

learnt recently of individualism vs collectivism in the sense of a
nation's norms. i think i clearly fall out of singapore's norms. may
probably be why most people dont think the same way i do. and is the boon
of uniqueness that i've been chasing really a bane instead?

i think i stand out so much now that people dont want to get to know me.
or maybe i just dont believe they could like talking to me hence i dont
try to let them in..

is my being so different such an issue though? i have friends who've known
me for years, and know perfectly well how insane i can be from time to
time, yet they still like hanging out with me (i take it that way since
they actually dared to go on a 3d2n holiday with me). then again i have
friends or acquaintances whom i can instantly create a chasm between. or
is it a norm that the people here cannot stand hearing opinions being said
out loud?

if i keep it to myself, im the quiet unassuming guy that seems to know
nothing or has not much opinions to speak of. open my mouth and i can piss
people off within sentences.

filter my words? i dont see very much of a point to, if im supposed to
treat you as a friend. heck i'll even say i treat my friends pretty badly
compared to bare acquaintances. i hurt them physically, berate them, throw
vulgarities for fun. doesnt make me sound like very much of a friend does
it?

it seems that wall i built now employed its own security guards.