J'enfant

24.12.10

happy holidays!

ive been preoccupied, in a good way i guess. explains my absence, i guess.

but at times like today, being christmas eve and all, is a time best spent
with that one person you cant get enough of. and i would have thought that
i'd be fine, but i also thought that i wouldnt be sitting alone in my room.

who's to know what the future holds. its been 2 years, since i last had
someone at my side. and this feeling is even worse, knowing that theres
someone there, just right barely outside of your grasp. but she's there,
and you pretty much cant do anything short of extreme actions like flying
over spontaneously.

and now i sound so sad, which i kinda am. but i actually feel hopeful now,
despite how much of a mess the last 2 years have been for me. nothing has
gone smoothly for me in a long time. things never go how i hope they
would. but this is one thing i really, really hope does go the way i hope
it would. i really cant imagine how i'll pull through 2011 if it goes bad.
i have almost no one left.

at the rate things go, i seem to lose more people than i gain. but i am
hopeful. even more so than the year before.

i just wish, i truly do, things go well for everybody around me.

merry christmas folks, be merry, hopeful, and joyfully tipsy(or drunk, or
high. choose your poison)

[EDIT] YAY! im not that alone! the internet is the best thing ever!!! [/EDIT]